Mr2Happy Thinks

The Complete Idiot's Guide for Dummies

2007-06-09T08:19:00.000-04:00

I love these books. I have several 'Complete Idiot's Guides' and 'for Dummies' books related to business and some other topics, even philosophy. I started this blog with the idea that I would list a few comical titles that I'd like to see. But, I think some the actual titles are actually pretty funny. Check these out:

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Improving Your IQ
Would the appropriate audience understand why they need this book?

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Dealing with Difficult Employees
Any chance these 'difficult employees' are complete idiots?

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Understanding Intelligent Design
OK. The scholars are giving us a hard time. Who else can we target?

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Understanding the Brain
Required Prerequisite: The CIG to Improving Your IQ.

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Pleasing Your Woman
Really now. Is this even possible?

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Pleasing Your Man
All you really need is the cheat-sheet inside the front cover.

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Tae Kwon Do
Oh great! Now he'll be completely dangerous, too.

Snort for Dummies
It' snot what you're thinking.

Pregnancy for Dummies
Doh! Should have read 'Contraceptives for Dummies' first.

Charcoal Companion Grilling Burgers for Dummies Book/Flipper Set
Bad marketing. Husbands won't read it. (Who needs instructions?) And the last thing they want is criticism from an informed wife about this manly-man task.

World History for Dummies
This should be required reading for those entering politics. Obviously, it isn't. (Ouch!)

Chemistry for Dummies
No thanks. I'm waiting for the actual 'Chemistry Set for Dummies'.

Cable & Satellite Wiring Kit For Dummies
Gee! After this, I'll upgrade my household current to 200 amps!

Stretching For Dummies
This is dumb. Anything is a stretch for dummies!

Infertility For Dummies
Isn't this a good thing?

Religion For Dummies
Uh, no. Bad idea.

Spirituality For Dummies
Much better.

Dating For Dummies, 2nd Edition
Now I feel better. The author didn't get it right the first time either.

Sex For Dummies, 3rd Edition
Let's try again. The train goes in the tunnel...

Now it's my turn. Here are some titles I'd like to see:

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Reading a Good Book (For crying out loud!)
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Using Your Turn Signal While Driving
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Knowing When They Are Making Fun of You
Being President of the United States for Dummies
Car Crash Test Jobs for Dummies
txt msg'g 4 dumez

Now it's your turn. What are some CIG or FD titles you'd like to see? (For help on leaving a comment, see http://help.blogger.com/bin/answer.py?answer=42399&topic=8921.)

Once in a 'blue moon' is... next week!

2007-05-25T09:03:00.000-04:00

Be careful of the term you use to describe the frequency of which you do something. Of course, when I say 'you' I mean 'I'. I might say, 'Ah! I only go shopping at the mall once in a blue moon'. (I'm male, check my profile.) But it really means that I go more frequently than I actually do.

I was not aware that the second of two full moons on consecutive nights is called a 'blue moon'. Nor was I aware that they are really not that uncommon. Live and learn.

www.space.com/spacewatch/070525_ns_blue_moon.html

I guess I'll have to switch to another term, as in, 'Yeah, right. I'll hit the mall again when the cicadas come out'. Doh! That's happening soon in the Midwest. Hmmm.... Anyone know how often hell freezes over?

Beginning Anew

2007-05-21T11:27:00.000-04:00

I cleaned up the posts that were irrelevant and out of date. (Most of the ones that remain are out of date but still relevant.) I had recently decided to revive the original blog with greater focus, and to invite more requests for participation. Please read the introduction for this blog and let me know what you think. Your input, questions, and comments are very welcome.

Mojo Filter

2006-04-29T22:16:00.000-04:00

What's bigger than a cigarette filter and smaller than a pool filter?

A what? What's a mojo filter? Not even Wikipedia knows for sure! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mojo) Who said it had to be a filter? Don't let the title fool you. There are many things between those sizes. In fact, there are too many things that correctly answer that question.

And that's how I'm starting to feel. I've got too many things to do. You know what that means? I got my priorities mixed up with my fantasies. Should I call them my "priorasies," or my "fantities?" My goals and objectives have turned into gobs. My chores and my tasks have become chokes. It's absolutely nonless! (That's nonsense and hopeless. Catching on?)

Oh!! What should I do? What should I do? ...I know - I'll go to sleep! G'night!

Early to bed, early to rise, makes the mundane seem like surprise.

"Listen to your gut!"

2006-03-28T23:15:00.000-05:00

I've heard it before. When it comes time to make a tough, long lasting decision, with potentially dire consequences, the gut knows best. But, why is that supposed to be good advice? What wisdom is in my gut that supersedes that which (I humbly presume) is in my head? What is my gut? (I glance down at my lower chest, then my belly-button. I'm not impressed.) How and when does my gut speak to me? Surely, those who would offer the sage insight must be implying more than just the random gurgling and growling sounds of churning air that accompany hunger in an otherwise quiet room. I don't "get" what I should listen for, yet...

I do, however, feel my gut. When I am aware of them, I notice that my stomach muscles are very sensitive and respond to stress by tightening up. (Ironically, when I am aware of these muscles, I also realize how seldom I experience this awareness.) Health nuts suggest I breathe from my stomach muscles, like an infant would, and not from my chest. This often takes conscious effort on my part. (What an oxymoron - it takes effort to relax!) However, it's not enough to change my breathing pattern as I become aware of it. I must understand why the pattern changed to begin with.

My tendency is to breathe from my chest, and not my stomach, when I am feeling any stress. I'm feeling stress when I'm excessively relying on my thinking - when my brain is overwhelmed with information, questions, or contradictions. Listening to my gut is rather a matter of becoming aware of my gut's reaction to stress. Once I have the awareness that my gut feels tight, I can ask myself why.

I frequently perceive that this world is spinning faster than I was created to process. A tight gut indicates that I am responding to real stress. I can't just use my awareness to change my breathing pattern because the moment I become unaware my gut tightens up again. The operative word is reaction. My gut is not thinking and speaking on its own. It's reacting to stress signals from my brain. I must change my thinking.

The first step is to slow down. Only then can I attempt to simplify the complex, organize the chaotic, rationalize the illogical, and pursue a topic with a healthy curiosity. The next step is to follow through. Process the stressor. Muscles have memory. That's why musicians can improve with practice. It's also why my gut tightens again if I am reminded of an unresolved stressor. The reaction is automatic unless one of two things change: 1) either the reaction is retrained (which is really impossible: it just moves the reaction elsewhere in my body), or 2) the stressor is resolved and ceases to cause the reaction.

How do we process the stressors in our lives? By being truthful about them. So many bad habits and discomforts are tolerated because they seem less painful than the truth. In fact, we often bury the truth with busy-ness or surrender. "I like this job; it keeps me busy." "That's just the way I am." The absolute truth is that we are lonely, discontent, impatient, angry, etc.

The problem is that this world does not offer a safe haven to express the truth. It robs us of our chance to truly come alive. We must transcend the world. How? We can't propel ourselves into a safe haven. Counseling may help temporarily. But, in reality, we're stuck in the muck and mire of what's familiar and natural for us. We must be completely drawn out of it and given a new nature. Life itself is the reward. We only need to let ourselves be drawn. There is Someone who loves us and wants to give us that life. Why do we so arrogantly resist His advances and stubbornly cling to our gravestones? Why don't we listen to our guts?

John 8:32 and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (ESV)

Writing, for sure

2006-03-16T09:00:00.000-05:00

How do I know when my writing is done?
Is it meant to be work, or meant to be fun?

I love to write, when I do I feel free,
Exposing my thoughts for all to see.

It just isn’t work, it’s more like play,
Like hopping and skipping with what I say.

What about poetry with its rhythm and rhyme?
It can change my emotion if I give it some time.

Writing is fun and it makes me happy,
Even if rhymes are weak and crappy.

When I’m not writing I’ll venture to read.
Books sprout with ideas that start from a seed.

I’ve learned to not tell a book by its size,
I won’t know ‘til I read it if it’s useful or wise.

I watch my own seeds grow into a plant.
Knowing I can and not saying, “I can’t.”

With TLC my plant will mature.
It’ll grow handsome and tall, that’s for sure.

==================================

Imagination is more important than knowledge. - Albert Einstein

'Scuse me, your theme's showing.

2006-03-09T19:32:00.000-05:00

Theme? What theme? These blogs are themeless!

I asked a few friends if they looked at my blogs at all. Some did. (Yeah!!) One guy said there was no apparent theme. I wouldn't be free to let my mind wander if I had to be concerned with a theme. Yeah, I know - I said I'd give more examples of puns and stuff as suggested in my first blog here. But, Hey! I'm looking for a job, you know. I have to get my priorities straight. This blog is neither my resume nor my portfolio of writing material.

Actually, a few exciting things are happening on the career front. First, I'm learning - big time - about starting a small business. I mentioned that I was researching a few franchises. I'm also researching two other ideas. The tangible and immediate one is the purchase of another business: a coffee house (which is not a franchise). The other is real estate investing. Believe me, I know there are a lot of "experts" who would love to teach me their methods for only "x" dollars per lesson/month/year (whatever). But, I've heard from individuals who have actually made a go of it and are very happy with the results.

The Internet Consulting franchise has me thinking that this would be a great business - if it were a little more mature. It needs name recognition. It's too early for a newcomer like me to spend years fighting to make this thing successful. Also, the business model seems to highly favor the base corporation. A franchisee, however, has to work very hard and very long to make it a feasible cash-flow business. One example is that they sell non-exclusive, geographical territories. If the area does well, there's nothing stopping them from selling more franchises in my area. It's not even "my" area. It sounds like I buy the right to increase market share for the corporation.

So what if I drink decaf! I like coffee. There. That's my theme - coffee!

Ask the right question

2006-02-27T16:48:00.000-05:00

What does God want me to do? This is a huge question for me. I want to be sure I'm not hearing my earthly father's voice in the back of my head.

He was a diver and a diving coach. I was his student. I didn't know if I wanted to be. He was a business owner. In that regard, he was a loner. He didn't teach me about being in business.

The mixed message I got from him was that I could be a good student if I disciplined myself to perform drills and listened to the experts. But, I could not be a good leader because someone else would always be better than me. (As a result, I often gave up before I tried.)

What does God say? Die to my sinful nature and live in Christ. Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you. I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me. Pray without ceasing. And so on. I must live by the Spirit until it becomes natural to live by my spiritual nature.

What do I say? I think I want to succeed so that I don't have financial worries, so that I have freedom with my time, and so contribute to the advancement of His kingdom on earth. Perhaps my question should then be, do I want what He wants? I'll only know if I submit to the Holy Spirit and follow His lead. Who knows? Maybe my idea of success falls far short of what He has planned for my life. I want this. His will is in His word, not the business or self-help section of the book store. If I want adventure, I can follow the unknown and trust He has only the best in store for me. But, am I willing to love Him?

No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money. (Matthew 6:24)

You've got it, Mister!

2006-02-20T18:05:00.000-05:00

I must write if I want to write, right?
I have the time, the time to rhyme even.
What keeps me from the task, I ask.
My heart should be on fire from my desire.
Instead, there's not a puff; the heat's just not enough.
If fashion were my passion, I'd be at the mall, y'all.
Instead, I creep through a heep of blank pages. (How cheap!)

You might think it's funny, but it snot.
After all, I don't want what I wrote to sound rote.
Writing that's old grows moldy and cold.
Am I afraid of a sentence I've made?
What could be worse than my verse?
It's absurd that I'd be afraid of a word!

Besides - it doesn't matter a smatter.
There are no souls to put change in my bowls.
I write for me, you see.
Are you even there? Should I care?
No! Nonsense! I'm alone with a bone of my own.
Whether I pick it or lick it, there's no one to stick it.
So comment on my lament if you wish.
Maybe I'll read it someday. Oy vey!

An Escape!

2006-02-16T21:21:00.000-05:00

Hi, I'm Mr2Happy!

What did you think when you read that name? Hmm? Actually, that's what it meant to me, too, when I first heard it. It was a nickname given me for use in a chatroom. You can guess what we chatted about! That was a long time ago. It's since taken on a different meaning. Someone once asked via email, "Is it possible to be too happy?" I smiled. I liked the idea and decided to stick with the name, even if it might conjure up another thought.

I specifically enjoy that the name has two, quite different, implications. I've become aware of my appreciation for alternate or variable meanings. What comes to your mind when I mention the word "kill" in the same sentence as "abortion"? Yet, the word "kill" is mere jest when used in the phrase, "kill time." I love poetic play on words. Mozart's opera The Magic Flute is a cute romantic comedy on the surface, yet underneath it's full of deep, Masonic symbolism. I think parables are timeless. I love stories and story telling, just so long as they have a deeper, more profound meaning than what appears superficially.

I could go on - and I will - but not now. So, who is Mr2Happy? He's my ego and my alter-ego. He's fleshy yet emotional. He's selfishly extroverted and generously introverted. In short, he's an escape for all that is in my heart, mind, and soul.

By the way, I will occasionally insert quips and quotes of profound wisdom or cute jokes. Here's my first serious entry: "For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart." (Heb 4:12, ESV)